Tag Archives: London Grammar

Had I been a person of authority, Sydney’s unemployment rate would have significantly increased in the past twenty four hours.

What would I have done?

• Fired all traffic controllers working at the Sydney Entertainment Quarter for wasting 47 minutes of my life in a car park.
  Reason: Inconvenience.
• Fired the McDonald’s drive through cashier for taking 7 minutes to make me a Cappuccino at 1 am and almost forgetting my cookies.
  Reason: Customer dissatisfaction.
• Fired the store manager at McDonald for employing a staff member that allowed the drive through timer to be set off multiple times.
  Reason: Poor staff management.
• Fired the McDonald attendant for forgetting to give me a spoon to eat my Cappuccino froth.
  Reason: Customer complaint.
• Fired the McDonald’s serving policy manager for not training their staff to give out spoons.
  Reason: Escalated customer complaint.
• The missing spoon was very important.
  Reason: The froth is a vital part of a Cappuccino.
• Fired the drive instructor that issued the man driving in my lane his license.
  Reason: Incompetent driving and danger on the road.
• Fired everyone responsible or not responsible in all of the above for consuming my mind and having missed my highway exit.
  Reason: Just because.

This morning I would have further contributed to the figures by ..

• Firing every project developer / property manager / structural engineer / any other parties related including the milk man that had anything to do with the design and construction of Top Ryde car park.
  Reason: WHAT!

BUT I would have hired..

• Hozier
  Reason: To write a  ‘Take me to bed ‘ song, one that can come handy in the early hours of the morning.
• Hannah Reid
  Reason: For living. Her voice is incredible!

Enjoy x