Tag Archives: female

Dear man,

If I were to choose one quality about a human that is highly irritating, cringe worthy and might I add totally unnecessary, it would be stinginess aka ‘tightaresness’.

After a blood boiling hour-long discussion with my girl friends regarding this dreadful habit, the topic of dating and paying for the first date came up. We laughed hysterically at general stories and recent encounters and so I was told ‘Noor, If you are going to write about anything, this is what you need to bloody write about’. They wanted to be heard, and as always their wish is my command.

Dear man, when you are about to embark upon a first date, please take note: –

  • Do not make a girl pay a cent on the first date- the cost of her drink or meal is NOT going to send you bankrupt, trust me.
  • Refrain from saying ‘ don’t worry, next time’ – NO. This is only acceptable if you don’t actually mean it which would be evident by your tone of voice. There is no next time if you have already calculated that your next meal is going to be covered.
  • Splitting the bill- what is that? A girl would much rather pay for the entire meal to save herself some dignity than cover her share only.
  • Do not brag and/or discuss what you earn. If you are after a ‘normal’* woman she shouldn’t care.
  • Do not talk about how expensive things on the menu are – chances are you chose the place, so there shouldn’t be any surprises here. If you can’t afford something on the menu, just don’t order it. Basically, don’t talk about money full stop.

Most females don’t actually care about the money here – we can fend for ourselves. What I am talking about is the principle. Take the lead, its admirable and extremely attractive. If you can’t show the girl that she is worth that $30, she’s pretty much lost faith in you.

I also need to make it clear – I am only talking about the first few dates. Once the relationship is established (if successful) however, you and your partner choose to pay for things between you varies. I’m simply placing emphasis on the importance of first impressions, it’s no secret that a little generosity goes a long way.

Meowwww …Please note that I am not referring to the ‘Omg babe you are so hot’, ‘ My Gucci bag is real I swear’ ‘Kim K is my Idol’ kind of female, with them you might have to pay for the rest of your life, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

In all, I believe that being a tightarse should be a crime. Honestly, aint no body got time for it.

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Talk about Third Wheeling!

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There are few things that are cringe worthy – this is one of them.

A friend and I stood still in one of Sydney’s most popular nightclubs analysing the behaviour of people for amusement. It’s jungle like, females and males out to prey, some more than others.

Scenario 1: Point out a deer to a lion and make him chase it

Scenario 2: Kill the deer and put it in front of a lion

Which would he choose?

Hysterically laughing and horrible might I add we watched a female (dressed as the deer’s meat) be approached by what I would suggest a hyena at this stage. With no effort at all they were almost dirty dancing within the first 5 seconds of their meeting – impressive.

But wait a second; this is not even the good part. With no hesitation I would have crowned  the world’s worst female wing woman, her female friend awkwardly stood next to them the entire night while they ‘enjoyed’ each other’s company. Not sure which many of the ten thousand hints she missed to walk away and leave them alone?

Now you ask why we paid so much attention. Well firstly it was hilarious watching this ‘romance’ unfold from the beginning of the night till the end. Secondly they were within eyesight as we hogged the dance floor and imitated each other dance like school kids. Their priorities were set, ours were which song was the DJ going to mix next?

I promised I would document it because this is the best ‘Third Wheeling” I had seen to date. Perhaps not so funny now but if you had been there this would have definitely been a moment to remember.

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